At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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