Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
