in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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