It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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