just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
