ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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