i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
