LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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