i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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