i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
