Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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