Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize