i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
