The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
