Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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(504): View more from Louisiana

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

It's like a mixture of two words

(985): View more from Louisiana

"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

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(480): View more from Arizona

From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.

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