C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
