But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
