I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
whose parrot is this?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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