Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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