Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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