if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dick very happy bro
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
