You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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