Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
