so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
