He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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