he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
