Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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