My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
