I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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