dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
