It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
