Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
