Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
