forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize