called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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