Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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