Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
