The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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