RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who died my cat blue again?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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