Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
