Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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