She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
