bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
