my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
