i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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