There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
