The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
