so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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