Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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