She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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