you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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