i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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