I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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