no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
