Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize