Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
