5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize