i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
