I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
