why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
