Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
