All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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