this just has baby written all over it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He did a backflip because drugs
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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