I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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