the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
