Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
