Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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